Avoiding him was not going to help. It was going to make it worse. Lila knew that she had probably waited too long to talk to Harrison as it was, but she had to. For this conversation she couldn’t be sobbing, he wouldn’t pity her, he’d probably make it worse. At least now she’d be able to explain herself. Maybe.
Lila really had only been thinking about how she could get through the conversation.
Harrison might be feeling something completely different.
From the look that he had given her when everything fell to pieces was terrifying, Lila had never seen him mad before. And she had just given him time to brood over it more. She could easily be walking into a death trap. All because she had been stupid.
She had kept Harrison from the one thing he wanted most in the world.
She had continually lied to him about it.
And this was right after she had convinced him that Phabio had been lying about her getting pregnant.
Lila stared at the door to the District 5 apartment. Harrison told her that she could come in whenever. It didn’t matter if the tributes were there or not, though they were probably still off training somewhere. Which was good, they didn’t need to hear any of this. Nobody needed to hear anything that had already been said today. But she still kept staring at the door, wondering if that invitation still stood, or if it was better to knock. Knocking would at least let him know that she was there, but going right in made it so that he couldn’t ignore her. Though maybe it would be better if Harrison did ignore her. There were no good options in this situation. None. At. All.
Finally she knocked on the door, quickly opening it afterward, doing both in hopes that it wouldn’t end up being an even worse idea. Walking in she quietly closed the door behind her. Sighing a little Lila walked a could steps before stopping. This wasn’t her apartment, chances were she wasn’t going to be welcomed or wanted, it was better not to go any further.
"Harrison?" she called, feeling almost stupid for coming at all. He wasn’t going to want to talk to her, be around her, or anything. Chances were he probably wasn’t going to want to marry her either, which was understandable. Lila had screwed up, and he wasn’t going to forgive her. And she didn’t deserve it, she had told Harrison a million times that she would do something like this. He had just never believed her. And look where they were now. Just like she had predicted.
Looking around the apartment, Lila realized that everything was a mess, like a tornado had gone through the apartment, destroying everything that it touched. Aleks had told her that the year before after she had broken up with him he had wrecked his room. This had to be like that, only worse. This was the side of Harrison that she had never seen before, the one that she didn’t realize existed. And if the apartment itself was this bad, then he wasn’t going to be any better. In fact he was probably going to be worse. And there was nothing that she could do or say that would help.
"Harrison I’m sorry," she continued, already feeling tears form in her eyes again, quickly wiping them away, "I’m so, so sorry."